His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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