You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
it hurts more in the daytime
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
