Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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