Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize