Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
