i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
