I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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