you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
