Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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