Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
