i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We have started to decorate penises.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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