You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
