Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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