Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
grandma shit on top of the toilet
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
