is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
