I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
