i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
