I cockslap morals
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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