called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
