My boss' voice literally gives me gas
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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