so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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