He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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