Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
