i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
