I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize