I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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