More tranny stories later!
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
