Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
