so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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