you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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