dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
