New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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