Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I am available for nakedness
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
