PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
