need another drink. this is the easiest way
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize