My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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