I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I touched a dick in church today
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
