their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
