Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
