Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
