there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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