3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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