and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
