have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
