Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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