Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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