I bet he comes in French.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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