Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
