i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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