i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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