The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
