I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
