Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
