Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
