I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
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