I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize