Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
