you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
