Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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